Slow Down, You Move Too Fast

January 1: The day to turn over a new leaf...start with a clean slate...wipe the board clean...start a new chapter. This is the time of year that everyone and their brother jumps on the bandwagon, proclaiming their commitment to a New Year's resolution. Everywhere I look there is information about resolutions: in the newspaper, on TV, on the radio. While at the store, I hear folks around me mention their resolution to lose 10 lbs, quit smoking, or cut back on spending. Despite our resolute proclamation to alter our lives, the majority of us begin to drift back to our old tried and true habits within days or weeks of making our claim to change "for once and for all."

How many times have you pledged the same resolution only to cave in after a few weeks?

Why do we have such difficulty changing our behavior or giving up bad habits?

In working with my clients I spend time educating them about a theory of behavior presented by three psychologists called the "Stages of Change Model." These psychologists were interested in exploring why some people are able to successfully alter their behaviors for good while others continually fail to change. Over years of research they came up with the Stages of Change model and suggested that it is necessary for an individual to pass through the 6 stages of the model in a linear fashion in order to successfully change their behavior.

Briefly, the stages are: precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance and termination. (To obtain further information about the stages, please log onto my website and click on the About Coaching tab, then scroll to the "Stages of Change" link.)

Where most of us get caught up and derailed from achieving our goals is when we move from the contemplation stage to the action stage. Here's an example of what this might look like:

On January 1 you decide this is the year you will lose those 10 lbs. You go through the house, tossing all junk food and holiday goodies out to the trashcan. You feel motivated and invigorated by your actions. That afternoon you take the dog for a long walk and come home feeling energized and positive. You eat a healthy dinner and snack on an apple and diet soda while watching TV that night. This program works for a few days, then, da-da-da-DAH, your next door neighbor invites you to dinner where she serves you a decadent fettucine alfredo pasta dish accompanied by a fantastic selection of wine. You can't hurt your friend's feelings, so you have a small serving. It is sooo good that you have another serving and by the end of the night the two of you have finished off the bowl plus two bottles of wine and half a tiramasu. The next day you feel lousy and you scold yourself for blowing your diet. When you get to work, someone has brought in a chocolate birthday cake with raspberry filling. You say "Oh, well, I blew it last night, so I might as well go for it." You have a healthy slice of cake and then head to the local deli at lunch time for the usual, pre-diet pastrami sandwich, chips and large soda. Bye-bye resolution!

Sound familiar? Okay, now let's look at it from the view of the stages of change. Let's say you want to lose the 10 lbs this year. You are in the contemplation stage--this is the place where you contemplate, or think about, changing your habit or lifestyle. You perhaps do a bit of reading about the health benefits of losing weight. Once you decide you want to move forward, you proceed to the next stage: Preparation. This is the most important stage, and the one that is frequently neglected. In this stage, you spend time preparing, laying the groundwork, for successfully achieving your goal of losing weight.

Just as you know it is important to prepare for a storm and gather all the important items together in one place (ie., flashlight, candles, matches, water, food, clothing, etc.), it is equally important to gather the items together that will help you succeed in achieving your goal. This refers to both tangible and emotional support items. In relation to the goal of losing 10 lbs. this year, such supports might be: a gym membership, a partner to workout with, a food plan, a backup plan when eating out, and going public with your goal by telling friends, colleagues and family members so they can be supportive rather than subversive. It means breaking down your day into increments and planning for alternate "routes" when unexpected things come up like the chocolate birthday cake with raspberry filling at work.

This is tedious, but absolutely necessary, work. When a person jumps prematurely into action before the groundwork is laid, he or she has no "safety net" to catch them when temptation arises.

If you have already begun work on your resolution, or you feel yourself faltering a bit, take a look at whether you have spent adequate time pulling together your supportive items for success. If you are really, truly serious about achieving this resolution, put in the prep-time and work to make it happen!

If you'd like to read more about these stages, subscribe to my free ezine by logging onto my website and clicking the "Free Ezine" button. Each month I send out a newsletter with the goal being to help you move forward with your goals. January's issue is devoted to the Stages of Change model.

Thought for the Day: How can I fully prepare to acheve my goal? Write down your vision of yourself and your life once the goal is attained. What will achieving that goal open up for you? Next, write down the list of obstacles that have gotten in your way in the past of achieving that goal. Come up with solutions or alternatives to each of those obstacles so when they surface again you will have a plan of action ready.

It has begun to occur to me that life is a stage I'm going through. --Ellen Goodman