Air Guitar

Recently my husband and I took a trip to Kona, Hawaii. Trips to exotic places like this are the positive perks of being married to a neuroscientist. Even though most scientists want to spend all their waking time talking about the latest findings in gamma amino buturic acid, they want to hold such discussions in tropical locales. And I, as the non-scientist partner, am more than happy to tag along for the ride.

One evening after a day of snorkeling, my hubby and I went to the bar in the lobby of the hotel to relax and enjoy the music. The entertainment was provided by two, very talented, guys on acoustic guitars. They played everything from Don Ho to Neil Young. At the table next to us was a young Japanese couple who were really enjoying the show. When the musical duo launched into a Beatles classic, the couple enthusiastically joined in on air guitar. As the singers crooned, the happy couple joined in on song as well. They stood up and played in mime along with the two entertainers holding real guitars. Eyes closed, broad smiles on their faces, they strummed and did their best imitations of Paul McCartney and John Lennon.

I have to admit, at first, I was embarrassed by their performance. I felt uncomfortable by their lack of self-restraint. I silently willed them to sit down and enjoy the show like the rest of the audience, with foot-tapping during and hand-clapping at the end, of each song. However, as I watched the free-spirited pair, I am happy to say that the "fuss-budget" in me was soon swept away by the couple's sheer enthusiasm and pleasure in singing along and dancing with the band, regardless of what anyone might think.

As I relaxed and enjoyed the couple enjoying the show, my husband and I, as well as the others in the bar, were swept up by the couple's energy and enthusiasm. Soon we were all dancing and playing air guitar. The hired entertainers loved the response of the audience and we left our self-conscious selves glued to our chairs, while our unencumbered selves boogied to the beat.

The images of that night continue to play in my head weeks after returning to the mainland. There was a child-like quality to the couple's actions. For most of us, there was a time in childhood where we were swept away by imagination and fun. We ran around the house sporting bath towels for capes and held glorious tea parties with our stuffed animals. We ran and cartwheeled when we felt like it and danced and sung when the mood struck.

Somewhere along the line, as we matured toward adulthood, we traded in our magic capes for the heavy cloak of self-consciousness and concern about what our peers thought of us. Our free-spiritedness was tamed and hemmed in. I see this happening now with my own teenage daughter. She would rather eat shards of glass than wear those dreaded high-waisted pants or receive a publicly humiliating kiss on the cheek from her mom in front of her peers.

The question that continues to surface in my head is: How often do we hold ourselves back from experiencing something new and pleasurable because we are concerned about what others will think?

This is a particularly tough issue for those of us who were raised by parents' who said "What will the neighbor's think?" when attempting to discourage us as children from doing something they didn't approve of.

What would happen if you didn't worry about others' opinions?

What would you accomplish?

What would you challenge yourself to strive for?

What would happen if you got out of your own way and just jumped headlong into a new experience?

I want to stress that when I am talking about engaging in a new behavior or experience, I am not encouraging you to do something that would place yourself or anyone else at physical or emotional risk. What I am suggesting is embracing opportunities to stretch and grow beyond the confines and limitations of your daily interactions, and believing in yourself and what you can achieve. For instance:

What would happen if you spoke up at the staff meeting tomorrow and shared your ideas?

What would happen if you finally asked that girl or guy at the coffeeshop out?

What would happen if you signed up for that night class?

My bet is that you would feel more alive and connected to the here and now, rather than drifting aimlessly through your day. It's risky to throw caution to the wind, but chances are you will be swept up by the current and land in a place you never would have guessed!

Thought for the Day: Do something today that forces you to step outside your self-consciousness and observe what happens. Congratulate yourself on your courage!

We know what we are but not what we may be. Shakespeare