It's My First Birthday!

Today marks the first anniversary of the birth of this blog! (Can you hear the honk of the horns, cheers from the crowd, and the blast of the whistles?) When I first began this blog 12 months ago, I had no idea whether I would burn out after a few months of writing, or if the fountain of inspiration would run dry. Would I still enjoy writing and sharing my thoughts and discoveries after 12 months of weekly journaling?

I am happy to say that I still love it and find the time I spend tapping away at my keyboard, enlightening, exciting, and energizing. It is a bit of a strange endeavor to simply post ideas and thoughts and never know if there is another person out there reading what I have to say on a particular subject (hint-hint: please drop me a line just to let me know you are out there!) I liken myself to a small, shiny space satellite, silently orbiting around the earth, sending out a message of goodwill, hoping that the message is picked up by intelligent life and that it is interpreted and incorporated to improve someone's existence. My hope is that my weekly messages serve to entertain you, provide you with a different perspective and gently encourage you to make changes to help you achieve your best life.

Looking back through the archives, I have shared with you experiences from my own life. I have given voice to the thoughts that weigh heavy on my mind. I have offered you my services as a life coach to encourage you to take some risks and create some change. You've read about my interactions with my family members, my relationship with my daughter, my adventures and experiences, and the life lessons I have learned from my dogs.

I have written about the power of mindfulness; the importance of organization in one's mind and environment; the process of recovery from grief and loss; and how to shift your attitude from one of negativity to one of openness and optimism. I have written about transitions and provided you with steps on how to navigate and accept change in your life.

I have shared with you experiences from some of my clients and how the coaching relationship encouraged them to strive and reach goals that were previously seemingly, unattainable. I have challenged you to step out of your comfort zone and embrace opportunity. I have introduced you to some of my favorite books on self-growth and optimizing one's life. Each and every week I have encouraged you to stretch a bit through my Thought for the Day questions in the hope that you will test them out and apply them to your own life situation in order to make subtle shifts in your day-to-day experience. I shared my favorite inspiring and thought-provoking quotes and song lyrics. I have asked you to move from a state of unconscious existence to one of conscious experience--choosing to acknowledge with gratitude, the abundance you experience each day. I have encouraged you to speak and interact with greater compassion--both towards yourself and towards others.

On this blog-birthday, it is my hope that you have enjoyed the past issues' topics and ideas. Take some time to go back and review some of your favorites or catch up on some of the entries you may have missed the first time around. I hope this year-old baby blog has helped you to grow this year. I hope to have made an impact on your life, even if only for the few moments you spent reading the post. Send me a birthday greeting and drop me an email letting me know how Envision Your Dreams has helped you to move forward toward the realization of your own dreams!

Thanks for reading!

Thought for the Day: Review some of the past entries and choose one to put into action for yourself this week. Create some change in your life NOW!

"May you live all the days of your life."
--Jonathan Swift

Ricky Raccoon

Yesterday I headed out the door for a run to clear my head. I was feeling in a bit of a funk and I spent the first few minutes silently grumbling about stuff that had happened during the morning. Zeebo was upset not to be accompanying me on the run, but at 93 degrees at 5:00 pm in the afternoon, it was just too hot to bring him along. My neighborhood run consists of a series of one mile loops on a blessedly shady, wooded trail. As I completed the first mile loop and began the short descent toward the now dry, Solano Creek, I was momentarily startled by a young raccoon crossing my path on his way into the woods. I have seen raccoons in the neighborhood late at night on occasion, but this was the first one I have encountered in the 10 years of running on the trail. We both stopped mid-step in our tracks and quizzically assessed each other. After about 15 seconds, the raccoon ambled off, tossing calm glances over his shoulder to keep posted on my whereabouts until he disappeared into the thick brush.

I smiled as I continued on the run and spent the next several moments replaying the encounter in my mind. I remembered reading somewhere about how we should be aware of the animals which come into our lives and what their presence might tell us. I couldn't remember the source, but I recalled it had something to do with "totems" and what the animal spirit may be trying to tell us. So what was Ricky Raccoon trying to convey as I grumbled and frowned my way through the first part of my run?

After a quick search on the internet when I returned home, I learned that I could interpret Ricky's presence as a Message Totem. According to Native American belief, message totems are unusual encounters with animals which serve as a wake up call; knocking one out of his or her usual habit or thoughts. A raccoon symbolizes transformation and curiosity. His spirit may have been asking me to let go of a situation, person or habit that was causing strife and stress. This certainly fit the bill for where my thoughts were at the onset of my run: My mind and body were ensnared by negativity. Ricky was encouraging me to let go of the situation and shift or transform my thoughts into a place of curiosity. How could I approach the situation from a self-affirming place?

In working with clients, I continually encourage them to approach problems from a place of curiosity and wonder. I ask: How could you view the situation from another perspective? What would open up if you moved out of a place of judgment and criticism? I often encourage clients to purchase and read the book "Change Your Questions, Change Your Life" and help them learn to shift out of judgment onto the track of optimism.

As I began my run, I was definitely stuck in the Judger mode unable to switch into a more positive mental state. My brief encounter with my raccoon totem was my living, breathing, message to make a mental shift toward embracing optimism and light. What an unexpected experience! The encounter not only lifted my mood for the remainder of the run but it has kept me focused on the message even today. I never know what I might experience as I step out the door on a run and I look forward in anticipation to my next message from nature!

Thought for the Day: What messages are you receiving from others that are encouraging you to shift your thinking toward a place of optimism and curiosity? What or who might be serving as your message totem this week?

Listen to all the teachers in the woods. Watch the trees, the animals and all the living things--you'll learn more from them than books." --Joe Coyhis~

Play That Funky Music

I smile a sleepy smile as I write today's post because yesterday I spent 12 hours with my teenage daughter boogeying and grooving to the awesome sounds at Austin City Limits. What a blast! My daughter received two tickets from a friend who was not interested in attending the last day of the three-day musicfest and my daughter invited me to accompany her. Okay...the invitation was likely extended because she does not yet possess a driver's license and she knew she would not be allowed to go to the concert unaccompanied. But still, I consider it a great honor that she would ask me, her mom, to go along for the fun. And fun it was! How often does a parent of a teenager get to spend twelve hours just hanging out--watching her groove and grin unabashedly, allowing the music to move her? Add to that the opportunity to grin and groove alongside her without her shooting me the exasperated "Mo-om, you're embarrassing me" look? As the American Express advertisement crows: "Priceless!"

On the 60 minute drive to Austin, I was given a crash course on the bands we would be enjoying over the course of the day and evening--some were familiar to me: Kathleen Edwards, KT Tunstall, and one of my faves, Tom Petty. Most of the 40 bands performing on Sunday were my daughter's groups: Matt Costa, G. Love and Special Sauce, Ben Harper, Matisyahu, The Stills, Sam Roberts, and Damien Marley, among others. I learned such facts as where the bands originated from, which singers were "hot," who recently released a new CD and whether said CD was worth purchasing. By the time we arrived at the festival, I even knew a few key lyrics in order to sing along if the opportunity presented itself.

So what does this have to do with life coaching? I interpret the experience as an opportunity to allow myself to be instructed by my daughter in what she enjoys, values and appreciates. Yesterday I took the backseat and allowed her to be my guide--I took in the sights and sounds of the festival from her perspective. In doing so, my ears were exposed to new sounds, and my heart and eyes were exposed to the current interests of the young woman who was once my baby. I was blessed by the opportunity to be a part of an event that was significant to her.

As parents we cart our kids around with us, exposing them to the things (sporting events, concerts, and vacation destinations) we enjoy. One of my goals as a mom who loves good music, has been to expose my daughter to some of the greats of rock and roll: She's seen among others: Dylan, Petty, Paul Simon, The Allman Brothers, various members of the Dead, Bonnie Rait, Bruce, and CS and N. In contrast, it is a none-too-common event when we allow our children to teach us something about their lives and interests. Most parents, most of the time, are in lecture mode: imparting advice and opinion onto their children. This weekend's experience was her moment to educate me on the current beats playing in her generation's ears and observe the cultural messages and mores influencing their minds. It was a pleasure to hear her impart her knowledge to me about each band we saw--her energy was evervescent and catching. I caught a glimpse of her toddler-ghost--the energetic and bubbly little girl who couldn't wait to show me the picture she drew that day in preschool. Yesterday my daughter was empowered by my openness to allow her to be the expert. My actions and behavior reinforced the message that I value her: her ideas, thoughts, interests and opinions. My hope is that this experience will add another layer in our relationship's foundation to help us weather the pending teen and young adult years.

On the drive home in the rain, she babbled about the concert until she fell asleep, exhausted and content. With a smile on my lips, I replayed the day's events in my mind's eye--the laughter and smiles we shared, swaying and dancing to the music. As I fell asleep last night, hoarse and tired from singing and dancing, my last thoughts were of my daughter; her smile beckoning, her eyes twinkling, spinning and twirling into the night.

Thought for the Day: Take some time out this week to allow yourself to be taught something by someone you love. Learn a new dance, a new song from a child--allow another to become the expert. Observe how it positively impacts your relationship!

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.
--Bob Dylan

Resilient Lives

Today is the five-year anniversary of 9/11. The newspapers, radios and tv have been saturated with recalling that awful morning when the world gasped in horror while bearing witness to the loss of thousands of lives. Movies on tv and the big screen reenact the events leading up to the imagined last hours of those people trapped in the doomed planes or in the burning buildings.

I remember talking with my clinical clients, young children, adolescents and their families, about loss and death for months following the attacks on the Twin Towers and the Pentagon. The 9/11 events served to reignite past pain and fears in those clients who had already been touched by death and violence. As a parent, I struggled to find the right words to describe the events to my then 9 year old child; I remember wanting to calm and soothe her, but not being sure, without a doubt, that life would be peaceful again. America, and the world, was jittery and jumpy for months and years following the horrific acts of that deliberate violence. Five years later, the events of the day are still in my memory, but I no longer experience the knot of fear in my belly when boarding a plane or projecting my thoughts into my children's futures.

What I have learned and observed over my professional career and have taught during these five years of recovery is this: The healthy among us possess resilient spirits. As a psychologist I have witnessed firsthand the resiliency of young clients as they recover from traumatic abuse or neglect and move on to become healthy and whole individuals. I have helped adult clients navigate the broken path of grief and loss in order to move onto the smooth road of recovery, and open themselves up to love and relationships once again.

How are they able to do this and what is resiliency? Authors on www.Resiliency.com write: "Resiliency is the ability to spring back from and successfully adapt to adversity. An increasing body of research from the fields of psychology, psychiatry, and sociology is showing that most people–including young people–can bounce back from risks, stress, crises, and trauma and experience life success. Researchers are concluding that each person has an innate capacity for resiliency, "a self-righting tendency" that operates best when people have resiliency-building conditions in their lives." These conditions are described in The Resiliency Quiz.

What I have observed in my clients' and my own life as well as what researchers are determining is that resiliency describes a cluster of strengths that are called into play when hardships or crises surface. In order to not only survive the critical event, but to master it, one must be adaptive and open to exploration. Rather than bury one's head in the sand and "pray for the best", a resilient individual seeks out connectedness to others who value him or her. A resilient individual looks around and seeks people that he could model his behavior after. A resilient individual experiences a sense of power and mastery over the situation; that is, not allowing herself to become overwhelmed and engulfed by negative emotions or fear. A resilient person takes initiative; she tries to find solutions to the problem rather than remaining passive and helpless. A person with resilience is able to gain distance and perspective from the problem and he is able to take compassionate action.

Resilience is a psychological tool that can be strengthened through nurture, attention and support. For some, learning resilience requires conscious practice. Instead of blowing up in anger over an unpleasant incident, think about responding to the situation from a place of calm perspective. If we as a population could develop the strength of resilience, I believe that we as individuals, and as members of society, would flourish because we would demonstrate the power of compassionate caring to one another. Bless you all on this memorial day.

Thought for the Day: How resilient are you? What can you do this week to enhance your capacity for resilience in the face of a crisis?

"Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Labor Day Reflections

Happy Labor Day to one and all! Today is the day to reflect upon and celebrate the American and Canadian worker. This holiday is much more than BBQs, watermelon, and back to school--it was founded in the late 1880s to honor the spirit and dedication of workers, providing them a day off to spend with their families enjoying parades and speeches in their honor.

Today I have been reflecting on how many of the clients I work with struggle to find meaning in their work-life. Some of my clients are in careers or hold positions that do not spark their interest, let alone tap into their passion. Many are burnt out and disillusioned with their jobs. Some find themselves unemployed due to corporate downsizing and are stunned to discover that no loyalty was shown to them after years of service.

Sometimes clients change careers by choice or due to circumstances beyond their control. No matter the circumstances that bring a career client my way, I often start working with them with an initial goal to help them clarify and identify their interests, strengths, weaknesses and values. What are they hoping to achieve in their next job? Are they simply looking for a position to replace their former one or are they searching out a completely different career path? How well does their current job mesh with their picture of an ideal job? Perhaps their current position simply needs some "tweaking" to make it more satisfactory. Sometimes I help a client set boundaries with regard to the number of hours they work, or I help them to increase their communication skills and self-confidence in order to ask their boss for a raise.

For those clients who wish to change careers, we spend time clarifying and honing in on their interests, strengths and values in order to help them find or create a job that resonates with them and provides meaning. In a very true sense, I help them to develop their own vision and mission statement for their lives. I help my clients explore their worries and concerns and assist them in identifying what they want as a next step. A couple years ago I took a training course entitled "Transition Dynamics" designed by psychologist Carol McLelland. Carol has developed an incredible tool to help coach and client sift through and brainstorm ideas for potential careers. With weekly online exercises and journaling, as well as chapter reading from her book "Your Dream Career for Dummies," a client is able to quickly zero in on the perfect career. Carol's philosphy is that "a dream career is more than a career that allows you to use your talents and skills in a satisfying and fulfilling way. A dream career also allows you to express you you are and to live the life you want."

We all find meaning in life when we are living purposefully, expressing our values and giving something back to the community. I have assisted clients in identifying careers that provide them with meaning: one woman left her position as an investment banker to create her dream career as an event planner. A young man left his job in construction to become a real estate broker. Another woman left her corporate position to fulfill her life-long dream of working in an art museum. I am thrilled to help people explore their talents and interests and develop their passion in their work-life. Although the clients I described chose to pursue different career paths, the commonality is that their current career allows them to experience greater satisfaction in all areas of their lives, including their life at work. Since few folks have been born into unlimited wealth or have experienced the sheer luck of winning gazillions in lottery scratch-offs, don't you owe it to yourself to take time to identify YOUR dream career? If you are unhappy in your current job, take a moment to check out the Transition Dynamics website to see if it can help you determine your own shining career path.

Thought for the Day: Reflect on how well your current job matches your vision of your "ideal job." If you are feeling stuck in your career, what can you do this week to do to create some change? Does your current career allow you to express your values, talents and ideals? If not, what type of career would allow expression of the things that are most important to you?

"If a man has a talent and cannot use it, he has failed. If he has a talent and uses only half of it, he has partly failed. If he has a talent and learns somehow to use the whole of it, he has gloriously succeeded, and won a satisfaction and a triumph few men ever know." --Thomas Wolfe