Breathe, Stretch, Shake, Let It Go

Not that I listen to rap music very often, but there is one song I downloaded on my mini ipod which I listen to nearly everyday as I exercise. The title of this blog shares the title of the song performed by a rapper named Mace. This song deviates from the typical rap message in that it encourages people to not get worked up and angry about interactions with others or stressed by situations. Instead, Mace encourages the listener to "breathe, stretch, shake and let it go."

What great words of advice! I used them today as I drove to my second Toastmaster's meeting of all time. My New Year's resolution this year is to not allow my inexperience and anxiety hold me back from achieving one of my dreams of speaking in front of a large group about coaching and envisioning one's dreams. I feel that my business has the potential to grow in this direction and I want to spread my flying pig message to as many people as I can.

Now I am a great speaker and communicator when it involves small groups or when I am among people I know. As a psychologist and coach I feel I can connect and communicate with others in an effective manner. However, when I am in front of a group of strangers, my tongue suddenly feels as if it has swollen to twice it's size and my brain pretty much ceases to function properly. My heart begins to pound out a crazy syncopated mambo and my clammy underarms and hands feel as if I have just stepped into the steam sauna at my gym. With all eyes upon me, I feel frozen in place like a deer trapped in oncoming headlights. Definitely not a fun experience. My limited public speaking experience led to a self-generating feedback system in that, because of my anxiety I do not speak in front of groups, and because I do not voluntarily place myself in the position of speaking in front of groups, I avoid addressing and working through the trepidation and anxiety. In graduate school I wrote extra term papers in order to avoid teaching and speaking in front of my class. I probably wrote twice as many papers as any other student in my program, but I welcomed the research and writing as I felt I had "gotten out" of the unpleasantness of public speaking.

But I didn't really "get out" at all. My career and life has been constrained and held hostage by my fear. Over the past year I began to tune in to the message of my wiser intuitive voice which softly encourages me to shed my fear. Several months ago I encouraged a client of mine, who shares the same fear, to join his local Toastmaster's group. Ambivalent at first, he is now enjoying the learning that is taking place and he looks forward to crafting and delivering his speeches to his group. As I mentioned in a previous post, I feel strongly that if I do not stretch myself to grow and step out of my own comfort zone, then how can I legitimately coach my clients to do the same? So now is the time for this coach to walk the talk.

At the ripe old age of 47 I am ready to boot my engulfing bully of a boogie-monster out of my life for good. I have committed my calendar for the next year to attending a Toastmaster's group once a week. I must admit I experienced a flutter of anxiety just checking out the info on the web! In spite of the butterflies, I found a convenient club and attended my first meeting last week. It was a fun experience and the group of attendees were warm and welcoming. I spent last week processing the experience and found myself looking forward to this week's meeting. Even so, as I pulled into the parking lot today, I felt that familiar flutter of nerves in my belly. I silently repeated Mace's mantra: Breathe, Stretch, Shake and Let it Go. A few moments later I stepped out of my car and made one giant leap toward a fuller life!

Here's my questions for you:

What is the fear that is holding you back from embracing a fuller life?

Does the fear serve a purpose in your life right now?

What would open up for you if you released it?

Believe me, I know it is scary to step outside of the strangely comforting and famililar cushion of anxiety. But if you don't--think of all the experiences you are missing out on. Consider making 2006 the year you let go of a self-limiting belief--what a wonderful year this will be if you do!

Thought for the Day: What can you do this week to chip away at a personal fear? As you step closer to the precipice of that anxiety, think about the mantra: breathe, stretch, shake and let it go. Did you feel a release in tension? Great job!

Feel the fear and do it anyway! --Susan Jeffers