Manage Your Monkey Mind

(This following is an excerpt from the March issue of my free monthly ezine. To subscribe simply go my website and register at the bottom of the page.)

March heralds the coming of Spring: the winter cold begins to thaw, brightly colored flowers peek through the ground, the Easter Bunny may hop into your backyard soon, and basketball fans are excitedly planning their month-long hibernation on the couch as college basketball March Madness begins. Coming late to the game and not being raised in a basketball-loving home, I have a different take on the term "March Madness." I think about the term as relating to the frenzy and flurry of thoughts which run through our minds on a minute-by-minute basis. If you are like most folks, your mind may race to keep up with the monologue in your head. I once read that the average person experiences over 60,000 thoughts in one day and yours may go something like this: "Gotta email Mary re: the project deadline....Don't forget to pick up the dry cleaning...Where did I put that folder?...Did I pay the cable bill?...Look at the time! I'm going to be late...Why did I eat that?...Did that noise come from my car?...I wonder what she meant by that comment" and on and on. You may not be fully aware of your internal commentator, but he or she is there, nearly 24/7. In this issue I offer you some suggestions as to how not to be held hostage by your thoughts. Instead I will teach you how to slow your mental process down in order to recenter yourself in the here and now to become more efficient and mindful of what you want to accomplish each day.

Manage Your Monkey Mind
Here in San Antonio we have a wonderful zoo, complete with the requisite menagerie of lions, tigers, and bears. One of my favorite spots at the zoo is the monkey display. I love to watch the original trapeze artists, the spider monkey, swing effortlessly through the climbing structure. Their darting eyes and nimble fingers are rarely still. Their impulsive antics sometimes result in minor spats and squawks of disapproval with their roommates, particularly when one has snatched a peanut out of the hand of another. When not swinging, they amble about their cage. When not ambling, they groom their neighbor. When not grooming another, they scratch their own particular itch. When not scratching, they put things in their mouths for a taste. It is rare to see a quiet monkey at my zoo.

Our thoughts are a bit like those busy spider monkeys: constantly searching, observing, commenting, criticizing, critiquing. Flitting from one branch to another; our thoughts jump wildly to ruminating about the past, then bungy-jump off to worry about the future, not content to rest long in the here and now. They chatter while you drive, watch TV, and stand in line at the bank. They chatter as you daydream or prepare for sleep. Some thoughts may be friend while others, foe. Sometimes the chattering thoughts take over, particularly when anxiety or depression-driven, and take charge of our actions. Repetitive or random thoughts may make you feel confused, distracted and helpless to change your current situation. For some people, thoughts become the driving force and spiral them into action--with positive or negative consequences. Positive thoughts encourage and motivate us to achieve and grow. Negative ones sap us of energy, joy and experiencing the wonder of our current moment.

Buddhists have a wonderful term for these flitting mental gymnastics: Monkey Mind. According to Zen Buddhist tradition, the untrained mind is like a cluttered room filled with wild, unruly monkeys running loose in one's head. Imagine each of these monkeys as a random thought in your daily consciousness. These monkeys are the chatter you hear in your head every second of the day while you go about your daily business. There is a lot of power behind our thoughts: Positive or negative, they influence and impact our lives. Effectively managing your thoughts is a profound way to improve your day-to-day experience.

One of the ways to tame your little monkeys is to learn simple meditation. I have written about the power of meditation in past issues and this technique is one of the first things I suggest to my clients to help improve their awareness. Before you become concerned that I am suggesting you change your religion, I will tell you that I am not suggesting this at all. Meditation is a technique to gain awareness of your thoughts and to learn how to distinguish between thinking a thought and acting on the thought. Our thoughts are simply mental matter. Many thoughts do not necessarily require action: Jumping to safety and out of the way of an oncoming car? Yes. Taking a second helping of chocolate cake? No. Meditation allows you to tame your monkey mind by moving beyond thought--to become aware of a thought, allowing it to rise up and float away without letting it pull you off in a different direction. Being able to concentrate is one of the tools that allow you to slow down your mental process and focus on observing your thoughts without being, as a client puts it "emotionally hijacked." Meditation allows you to harness the power of your mind, settle down and focus, on one subject at a time.

Meditation Made Simple
Without having to run out to a purchase a pair of yoga pants and meditation bowls, the steps below will provide you with the basics of simple meditation. One of the easiest ways to be introduced to the practice is to focus on your breath. Whenever your monkey mind kicks up a fuss, return your focus onto your breath.

Turn your phones to silent and let others in your household know that you would like to be undisturbed for 10 minutes or so.

Choose a place where you can get comfortable. You may want to sit on the floor or be supported in a chair. Or you may prefer to lie in your bed. Whatever place you choose, plan to give yourself at least ten minutes of quiet time.

Loosen any restrictive clothing and move to your comfortable, chosen place.
Close your eyes and breathe naturally for a few moments. Give yourself permission to relax and focus on yourself during this time. Relax your jaw and allow your face to soften.

After a few moments, turn your attention to your breath. Make your breath deep, calm and as regular as you can. At the top of your inhalation, pause briefly before you exhale. Continue this breathing pattern for a few moments.

At the next inhalation, silently count 1, and on the exhalation count 2. On the next inhalation count 3 and on the exhalation count 4. Continue this up to 10 breaths, then repeat in descending order.

You will likely notice that thoughts about your day begin to enter your mind. Simply allow these thoughts to come, acknowledge them, and let them drift on by like a cloud in the sky. Gently bring your attention back to your regular, calm breath.
Continue this breathing exercise for as long as you wish. You will find yourself more relaxed and calm when you are done.

Peer reviewed journal articles support studies that suggest meditation and other relaxation techniques have exhibited significant reductions in symptoms of heart disease, high blood pressure, IBS, chronic pain and stress. If you take time for daily meditation (even for ten minutes) then you will find your decision making process in your day-to-day life will be more controlled and centered. You will find yourself less reactive and driven by your thoughts. And most importantly, you will be able to experience your life with better health, more appreciation, compassion and humor.
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"It is commonly held view that meditation is a way to shut off the pressures in the world or your own mind, but this is not an accurate impression. Meditation is neither shutting things out nor off. It is seeing clearly and deliberately, positioning yourself different in relationship to your thoughts."
--Jon Kabat-Zinn