Graduating to the Next Phase

This time of the year the air is filled with excitement, hope, possibility and no small sense of relief! This is the month when women, men and children foray into new territory through the rite of graduation. Stores display gift ideas for the graduate, bunches of balloons sail toward the heavens upon release at commencement, car windows on the roads profess words of love and encouragement and identify the driver as a graduate of the class of 2006. Restaurants are packed as family members and friends migrate to San Antonio to celebrate and honor their loved one's passage.

Last weekend I attended a former client's college graduation and this past Friday I watched as my daughter and her friends walked the middle school stage for the last time. Although her school offers high school, many members of her class have made a choice to move to other schools for their high school experience. My daughter along with one of her friends will be attending a larger high school in the Fall. As my little girl, who is now nearly as tall as me, proudly filed into the auditorium with her classmates, I couldn't help but flash back to earlier years of rites of passage in this small auditorium/gym.

Here is where her dad and I proudly watched and silently spelled along with her as she competed in a spelling bee in 4th grade. I turn my head and see the bleachers against the wall over there where we watched her run up and down the courts during 5th grade basketball season, struggling to coordinate her running feet, hands on the bouncing the ball, while staying in the lane and defending against the looming defense. During the next season her dad and I cheered each time she made a ball over the net in volleyball. This is the room in 6th grade in which she danced with a boy for the first time. As a chaperone that night, I remember my eyes filled with tears as I watched her and her partner tenderly sway back and forth during a slow dance. This is the room where I have come for the past three years to pick up my sleepy child the morning after the end-of-the-year supervised "lock-in" where the middle-schoolers run around like hamsters on espresso for the entire night and next morning.

I looked around the audience of parents and realized that this would be the last time we would share the same room as well. It's an interesting phenomenon that occurs when you have children, the parents' of your children's friends become your friends as well. It is with these moms and dads I have carpooled, traded caretaking, pick-ups from school, solicited parenting advice and weathered our daughters' entry into adolescence together.

In spite of the difficulty in saying goodbye to familiar people and surroundings, graduation marks a leap (no matter how tentative) into the future and possibility. Armed with knowledge, some experience and brimming confidence, graduates say "Yes!" to a new phase of their lives--whether that means entering 1st grade, middle school, high school, college, graduate school, med school or the real world. It is a time of excitement, confidence, pride and hopefulness for both the graduate and the audience. I think one of the happiest places on earth is attending a graduation, particularly when the beaming graduate walks across the stage a changed person once she is handed her diploma or certificate--there is so much happiness and charged energy shooting around that it's nearly impossible not to be affected!

That feeling of excitement and energy is what I receive as a coach when my clients move out of their comfort zone or usual routine to try out something new. When a client first comes to me, disillusioned and unhappy about being unsuccessful in changing a habit or living an unbalanced life we work together to create positive change. For instance, I spend time educating her about how to manage stress...Together we explore what keeps him from moving forward in his career...I teach her about assertiveness and setting boundaries so her time is more her own. After months of work, most clients have new self-awareness and are ready to move out on their own, armed with the skills they developed through the process of coaching. The client graduates onto a healthier, happier lifestyle. When my clients achieve greater life satisfaction or improved health because of their lifestyle change or stress management skills, I feel as though I have just handed him or her something equivalent to the Willy Wonka Golden Ticket!

Thought for the Day: Are you moving forward or are you being retained in the same grade, so to speak? What can you do to take steps to graduate to a healthier, happier lifestyle?

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.

--Dr. Seuss