Breaking the Ice

Today I gave my first speech at my local Toastmaster's Club. In a January post (Breathe, Stretch, Shake, Let it Go) I spoke of how I am stretching myself beyond my comfort zone by seeking out opportunities for public speaking. In December I joined a local group which meets each Friday at lunchtime. Today was my big day: The Icebreaker Speech--speech number one of 10 in my Communication and Leadership Program Manual. I must admit that the preparation time involved in presenting that 6 minute speech was incredible--I must have put in at least 15 hours into the writing, editing, timing of, and practicing of that speech. Thankfully my dogs were attentive listeners as I presented the speech over and over to them last night, although Suki, the puppy, became entranced with sticking her head in the toilet water when I moved into the bathroom to practice in front of the mirror (I chose to not view this as her way of expressing her opinion about my topic)!

As I mentioned in that January post, I am the type of person who is much more comfortable writing my thoughts down on paper or on a computer screen as compared to being expected to speak coherently in front of a group. But this year I have decided that my uneasiness and lack of self-confidence has held me back for long enough and I am plunging myself into that icy pool of anxiety just like a polar bear leaping off an iceberg with abandon into the Arctic. I realize soon enough I will become comfortable with many sets of eyes turned my way, perched and eager to hear the words that will pour effortlessly off my tongue--but in order to get there, I need to spend some quality time behind the lectern.

About 7 or 8 years ago I was called up to a lectern to speak to a couple hundred guests at a fundraiser for my agency. I was to join a colleague in encouraging the attendees to register for a 5K/10K we were organizing as another avenue of fundraising. I was informed of this little debut about 30 minutes before we were to take the stage. In the minutes before we took the stage, I felt my stomach knot and flutter; I began to sweat (not a good thing when you are attending a black-tie affair); and I felt my mouth dry up as if I had just swallowed a glassful of sawdust, not wine. By the time it was our turn, I felt I had eaten one of those mushrooms Alice sampled in Wonderland as the my perception of the ballroom had been bizarrely altered!

Everyone's eyes had become as enormous as the salad plates in front of them and the sounds around me had slowed down to resemble an album playing at 16 rpm on my parents' old record player. My legs moved sluggishly as my colleague, Jeannie, half-carried me up to the podium. I could barely see the audience beyond the microphone as it had grown to the size of a watermelon and seemed to have a spotlight from heaven shining down upon it. I remember Jeannie happily chattered away and with ease; she informed the group of our upcoming event like a seasoned talk show host. In slow motion, she turned to me with an encouraging smile as if to say, "Go ahead, your turn." I leered at her as my lips and face had become frozen and then I quavered and squawked something into the microphone. Who knows what I said? My brain ceased functioning and no matter how hard I try to recall those minutes that seemed like hours, I have no idea what really transpired. I do remember I nearly bolted back to my seat in relief as the guests politely applauded. I silently vowed never to experience THAT again. Since then I shied away from any opportunity to speak in front of groups larger than 8. But this is my year to shrink my fear down to a more manageable size.

Thankfully, my listeners this afternoon were attentive, encouraging and wonderful and they helped me chip a pretty good-sized chunk off that bad-boy today. The group as a whole provided me with fantastic feedback and my evaluator gave me some wonderful tips and advice. Everyone needs support when they are trying something new that stretches them beyond their comfort zone, and for me, my Toastmaster's group provides me with just that.

As a life coach, I help my clients venture beyond their comfort zone as well. My clients receive my support and encouragement as we move together through the scary but exhilarating spots in their life. Together we address their inner critic and I encourage them to also take that polar bear plunge into freedom!

Today was an exhilarating day! It feels so good to move beyond a perceived roadblock. The Toastmaster General made my day when he presented me with the blue ribbon for the best speech as voted by the group! Today Toastmaster's/Tomorrow Oprah!

Thought for the Day: Who helps you move beyond your fears? Who provides you with encouragement and helpful feedback so you can progress more quickly to where you want to be? Identify a fear you would like to conquer. How can this person help you take steps to overcome that fear? Don't let your fears hold you back from fully embracing life!

"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy."--Dale Carnegie