Open Up This April

The trees and flowers in my yard have been engaged in silent work these past months. Internal goings-on within the structure of the limbs and stalks have made the timing right for the leaves and flowers to burst forth. Over the past few weeks, the oak trees in the back have transformed from barren, crusty limbs to full, bountiful leaf-covered branches. The mountain laurel made its early debut last month, pleasing my eyes with heavy lilac-colored clusters and teasing my nose with its sweet scent. Even the scrawny orange tree at the corner of the yard strains under the weight of overflowing blossoms. Yesterday I noticed splats of vibrant red blooms on the climbing rose bush on the front wall. And Tartlin, our desert tortoise, has come out of his winterized house and is greedily making up for lost time munching on the green, spring grasses. Similar color shows may be happening in your yard (although probably without the presence of a tortoise), or may be just around the forecaster's corner.

No matter what day marks the first day of Spring when flowers in your neighborhood begin to open up to the warmth of the sun, I invite you to consider this day the first day you open up to your very own personal Spring. Let today be the day you become mindful and aware of all you have in your life. Let this month be the one you open your mind up to embrace and deepen your relationships with the ones you love.

How does one begin to open up in awareness? The first step to opening yourself up is to, somewhat paradoxically, turn your awareness inward or to the present. Just as the trees in my yard engaged in silent, internal work to prepare for the vibrant burst of color, it is likely that you too will benefit from some internal work to help you repair wounds, prune off some "old stuff" and grow. In a past issue ezine issue I introduced readers to the Buddhist concept of "monkey mind" and taught a basic meditation. Monkey mind refers to our mind's ability to leap back into the past or careen into the future with worries, ruminations, and judgments in split seconds. When we are in monkey mind we miss out on the happenings in the present moment. In contrast, when we spend more time in the present moment, we begin to have more awareness of our thoughts and we become more adept at releasing negative thoughts or judgments. When we open ourselves up to mindful thought, we become aware that our thoughts are simply thoughts and may not reflect reality. This awareness is remarkably freeing and energizing.

Mindful thought does not have to involve a meditation practice. Rather mindfulness simply means to turn your attention to observing your thoughts--a bit like reeling the thoughts you've "hooked" in for a closer look. Next time you are feeling stressed or tense, take a few deep breaths and observe your internal commentary. You might find your internal, critical voice has free rein much of the time. For instance, while sitting in traffic an observation may go like this: "I can't believe I am stuck here again. There are so many stupid drivers on the road. I am going to be late for my appointment and then my boss is going to be angry. I hate my job, I wish I could just quit." Once you notice your mind's running commentary, you have the choice to disengage from the energy-draining negativity and judgment such as "traffic = frustration" and shift into a lighter mood with observing thoughts such as "The sun is shining and feels warm; the traffic will open up and flow. I enjoy this moment of solitude."

Often we depend on a change in our environment to bring us happiness. We may become embedded in our "if only" beliefs which go like this: "If only he would change, then I would not be so angry." "If only I had more money, then I would be happy." "If only I could lose this weight, then I would attract love." When we are immersed in this kind of mindset, happiness and joy are fleeting since we become dissatisfied and disillusioned with what we have and are off seeking the next thing in our environment to bring us happiness. An important realization is this: An external change or a change in outer circumstances is not necessary to bring about an internal change. When one releases the attachment to something that is going on externally (for example, the traffic jam ) and shift to a mindful place of observation (for example, opportunity to enjoy the sunshine), the result is a mood shift into a more positive direction.

Being able to sit with and observe our feelings about what is going on in our lives rather than reacting to each and every thought that enters is one way to enhance personal insight. When we can sit with such feelings as anger, embarrassment, and uncertainty without being engulfed by them, we allow other thoughts to enter. Jon Kabat-Zinn writes that "every moment in which we are caught (by an emotion, impulse or opinion) in a very real way, we are instantly imprisoned by the habitual ways in which we react, whether this by withdrawal and distancing ourselves (sadness or depression), or erupting and getting emotionally hijacked by our feelings (anxiety or anger). Such moments are always accompanied by a contraction in both the mind and body."

Opportunities present themselves daily for mindful practice: red traffic lights, elevator rides, waiting in the grocery line to name just a few. Engaging regularly in this internal work will allow your own healthy thoughts to flourish and bloom this Spring. When you befriend yourself and free yourself from your critical monkey mind, you will grow and become more compassionate of yourself and others. Each day you are presented with an opportunity to open up or shut down. Let the month of April be the month you choose to be open, grow and blossom.

Thought for the Day: Take a few moments each day to focus your attention inward, experience the here and now moment and befriend yourself.

"To stay with that shakiness--to stay with a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge--that is the path of true awakening. Sticking with the uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic, this is the spiritual path." --Pema Chodron