This is the month when thoughts turn toward love and romance. Valentine's Day is celebrated on February 14 and it is the day on which lovers express their love for each other, sending cards, flowers or candy. My local grocery store displays gifts-galore for the occasion: From bright red, cellophane-wrapped heart-shaped boxed chocolates to tiny boxes of conversation hearts. The local florist promises a deal on a dozen red roses to give to a loved one on Cupid's Big Day. The US Greeting Card Association estimates that, a mind-boggling, 1 billion valentines are send each year, making the day the second largest card-sending holiday. In this entry I offer you some suggestions as to how to send love (without the need for a postage stamp) to best benefit yourself and others around you.
Years ago I remember helping my then elementary-aged daughter decorate her Valentine's Bag to hang on the back of her classroom chair. She glued paper hearts and lace onto a brown lunch bag and carefully wrote her name in red and pink crayon on the front. Later the same day I helped her spell out the name of each classmate as she addressed envelopes for the cards to her friends. On the morning of Valentine's Day, each child dropped a card or small gift into their classmate's bag. I can still recall the excitement and joy on her face at the end of the day as she dumped her love-bounty on the kitchen table and pored over each and every message. She glowed with the feeling of being cherished and accepted by her classmates. I believe that such simple acts of acknowledgment and expressions of care serve to build the foundation of our adult self-esteem and security. The ability to receive and send compassion, positive regard and care to ourselves and others is at the heart of human connection.
Within the past decade the field of mental health has embraced and explored the area of "positive psychology" thanks to the research of psychologist Martin Seligman. The basic premise is that our positive thoughts enhance our feelings of personal fulfillment, happiness and quality of life and may boost the treatment response to therapy and/or medication. Positive emotions create harmony and improve general health thus improving one's ability to cope with difficult situations and manage stress more effectively. Negative thoughts, on the other hand, impact one's ability to experience healthy, loving relationships with another or from embracing one's full potential in life. When one abides by the negative thoughts, negative emotion follows. Negative emotion is displayed in the form of depression, irritability, anger and defeat. Negative emotion may be implicated in serious health issues. Physiologically, when people feel scared, upset or angry their heart rhythms may become irregular (source: http://www.heartmath.org).
In contrast, when one is feeling cared for and love, appreciation and compassion for another, the heart rhythms become even and steady. Because of the connection between the heart and the brain, when the heart is calm, it reflects an integrated state of well-being. When the mind is calm and clear and out from under the cloud of depression, you are able to think more clearly and make better decisions. You can use simple techniques to calm the heart and help the body establish an overall state of peacefulness. When you learn to self-generate heartfelt feelings of love, care and appreciation, you not only feel better, but you are able to think more clearly and become more fulfilled and self-confident in what you do and in your relationships with others.
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Heart Lock-In
Here is a simple technique to employ this month to bring your attention to your heart. It is called the Heart Lock-In and was designed by the folks at HeartMath. Basically, the longer you hold your attention to your positive feelings, the better you will feel emotionally and physically. Research has shown that this technique can help ease depression, anxiety or fear and it will enhance feelings of compassion and care. Compassion for yourself will help reduce the amount of emotional drain caused by stressful emotions and will reduce the amount of damage such stress can have on your body. The essential step in the practice is to "send" appreciation or love. Years of research shows that feeling love or appreciation creates a cascade of biochemical events that help the body and mind. We know this intuitively: Love feels good.
Here are the five simple steps for Heart Lock In:
1. Close your eyes and relax.
2. Shift your attention away from your thoughts and to the area around your heart. If it helps, place your hand on your heart. Visualize your breath going in and out through the area of your heart and take very slow, deep breaths.
3. Now, find something that's easy for you to appreciate, think about the good things in your life, like children, your pet, your partner, your best friend. Send them genuine appreciation and love for five minutes as you breathe through your heart. Really feel the emotion of appreciation, not just the thought.
4. As you catch your mind wandering, gently bring your focus back to your heart and continue sending love and appreciation.
5. After you've finished doing the Heart Lock-In, try to sustain those feelings of appreciation and love as long as you can. This will act as a cushion against recurring stress or anxiety.
Use this great technique for emotional renewal as often you can throughout your day. As you enhance your feelings of compassion and care, it will serve to strengthen your sense of connection with others. Remember, each moment provides you with an opportunity for connection and growth. Here's a heart-felt wish for you to lock-in the love and send yourself some appreciation and compassion this month!
Thought for the Day: Practice Heart Lock In each day and experience a change in your heart.
Love cures people -- both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it."
---Dr. Karl Menninger
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