Breathing Room

"I need breathing room"..."I felt suffocated"..."I am finally coming up for air"..."I just need to catch my breath"..."I need to catch my second wind." These are just a few of the statements I hear from my clients as they speak about their feelings of overwhelm or stress with regard to the happenings in their personal or professional lives. Perhaps you have thought or uttered the same statements recently as you juggled the responsibilities of your family, job and personal needs. Some days are definitely better than others when referring to breathing room and more often than not, you may find yourself gasping for air like my daughter's goldfish who, for reasons that remain unclear, decided to test out the environment outside of his bowl (the jury is still out on whether the little guy was attempting suicide due to boredom or a dirty bowl).

"Breathing room is a metaphor for something we all could use more of: some space in our lives--space to catch up with ourselves, to regroup, to metabolize whatever we've been going through so we can know how we feel and what to do next," writes MJ Ryan in this month's "Health" magazine. Pausing for breath is more than a metaphor. When we enter a state of stress or anxiety, we tend to breathe shallowly. Rather than taking deep belly breaths, we revert to shallow "panting" in our chest. When we breathe shallowly, our bodies and minds remain in a state of vigilance: waiting and preparing to react to danger. Think about the last time you watched a nature program on tv where a predator stalked it's victim. The potential victim, say, an antelope, senses the lurking presence of the lioness. The antelope became hypervigilant, her nose quivered and her breathing became more rapid as she prepared to flee at the first sign of attack by the lioness. When we humans are in that fight or flight mode, we can hang in there, panting our little breaths, for a period of time, but chronic stress begins to take its toll on our immune system and other functions after a while.

One of the easiest ways to consciously kick ourselves out of the fight or flight mode is to breathe slowly and deeply. When we inhale deeply we tell our mind and body that its OK to calm down. More oxygen gets into your lungs and brain, which signals your heart rate to slow and your muscles to release tension. When you turn your attention to your breath, you come back into the here and now. "Breathing helps create the ability to face challenges with persistence, calmness, patience and acceptance" writes Ryan. Taking a deep breath allows you time to cultivate the 3 Rs in stress management: regroup, rethink and respond calmly rather than act out in an explosive manner.

Here's a breathing exercise from Andrew Weil, MD (as presented in the May issue of Health magazine for you to try out this week:

Sit with your back straight.
Place the tip of your tongue against the ridge just behind your front teeth.
Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound.
Inhale quietly through your nose with your mouth while counting to 4.
Hold your breath for a count of 7.
Exhale completely through your mouth, this time whooshing to a count of 8.
Inhale again and repeat the exercise 3 times for a total of 4 breaths.

If you have trouble holding your breath, speed up but stick to the 4-7-8 count. Practice twice a day but don't do more than four breaths at a time for the first month. Later you can work up to eight breaths. You may experience a bit of light-headedness, but this will pass.

Once you make a conscious choice to allow yourself some breathing space several times a day as mini-crises arise in the course of your day, you will find yourself responding with new perspective to the things that used to set you off. You will find yourself breathing freely rather than gasping for air by the end of the day.

Thought for the Day: Try taking several deep, slow breath next time you feel your buttons being pushed. Recenter yourself in the here and now and employ the 3 Rs: Regroup, rethink and respond calmly. For added relaxation, click on the first youtube box link at the bottom of the page. Sit back and enjoy the breathing meditation.

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.
--Anna Nalick (lyrics to "Breathe")