Living By 10s

Earlier this week I received sad news about the deaths of two people close to members of my family. One was a mother, recently diagnosed with brain cancer, who left her young adult children and husband much too soon. The other was a kind and well-respected graduate student who drowned while heroically saving his girlfriend who had been pulled into a rip current. As I think about these deaths, my mind waffles back and forth between a certain belief that there is a reason and purpose to everything and a sadness that both lives were ended so young. Did they serve their purpose in their lives? What was their purpose?

Death is the ultimate reminder that we must live our lives authentically and with intention. To enjoy and savor each moment we have with loved ones. To breathe in the exquisite experience of simply walking on this planet. I cannot begin to know their lives and how these two individuals lived each day. My hope is that they lived their days to the fullest, with purpose--how many of us can say we do that each and every day? Personally there are days where my thoughts are consumed with lists and errands or peeves and irritations. It is at night, when I am reflecting back that I realize how minor some of the things are that I hold onto and believe are important.

Living in and enjoying the moment takes concentration and effort. So often our thoughts zoom ahead of us. In conversation we are often ahead of the person we are talking to, planning and preparing our comeback or response to whatever it is they are saying--not truly listening and being present in the conversation. Malcolm Gladwell's bestselling book "Blink" offers a perspective about the kind of thinking that happens in the blink of an eye. Decisions are made in an instant that make an impact on our future either positively or negatively, and sometimes tragically. How can we slow the process down as best we can so that we make conscious choices about the way we live our lives?

In this month's Oprah Magazine, Suzy Welch writes about her "Rule of 10-10-10" and how the implementation of this rule has helped her to solve nearly every personal and professional quandary in her life. I see her Rule as a way to stay in the present while briefly projecting oneself in the future to test out whether a particular decision is a good one. Her Rule goes like this: Each time she finds herself in a situation where there appears to be no solution, she asks herself the following three questions.

"What are the consequences of my decision in 10 minutes?
In 10 months?
In 10 years?"

Her answers help her to make the best choice and also helps her to explain her choice to those who will feel its impact. Applying these questions to your own situation will help you to clarify your values and provide you with direction as to how to honor what is most important to you. Your responses are individualized, tailored just for you, and you can see how a yes or no response may impact your relationships, professional life, health, and sense of personal fulfillment. Welch writes that this process helped her to slow her life down and make it her own. I can't agree more with her observation--we experience more joy and satisfaction when we are living our lives in an authentic, purposeful and mindful manner. Take some time today to grab ahold of the reins of your life and move toward a life of intention!

Thought for the Day: Test out the 10-10-10 Rule in your own decision-making process this week. How did it help you reach clarity about a quandary?

"Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently,
but life itself would come to be different." --Katherine Mansfield