Got Squirrels?

Yesterday morning I took Zeebo and Suki out for a morning walk; wait, let me rephrase that—my two great danes took me along on their morning walk around the neighborhood. Usually I do not endeavor to take them both out at the same time since their combined weight is about 250 lbs, easily outweighing me by over 100 lbs, but my time was limited and they needed to be exercised, so I threw caution to the wind and offered up a silent prayer for an uneventful walk as we stepped out the door and headed to the trail.

The wooded neighborhood trail is lined by towering oaks and lush pecan trees. At this time of year the trees are laden with acorns and pecans. In my neighborhood an abundance of acorns and pecans means an abundance of busy and fat squirrels. And an abundance of fat squirrels means an abundance of ecstatic leaps and joyful barks and yelps for my dogs. Each dog has his or her own approach to the time-honored sport of squirrel chasing: Zeebo takes the mindfulness/zen approach. He tends to slow his walk down to a crouching crawl while sneaking up on the unobservant squirrel. All of his attention appears to zoom in on the unsuspecting furry creature. If he had the ability to tippy-toe toward his quarry he would, but unfortunately dogs don’t possess human toes so he is forced to tread carefully and slowly on his big paws toward his intended chase, sometimes actually balancing on three paws with one long rear leg extended in a several seconds-long arabesque. Occasionally he makes it within a couple of feet of a preoccupied hoarder before it senses the approach of the giant animal and scampers to the nearest tree for safety. Once he’s successfully treed the squirrel, Zeebo gives a good body shake (all the way down to the white tip of his tail) and then he’s off looking for the next opportunity for a chase.

Suki, on the other hand, shows little strategy in her approach. She’s an all or nothing girl, meaning that when she decides to go after a twitchy-tailed mammal, she blasts after it, crashing through the bush or bounding through the grass with no apparent forethought. There’s no zen in her approach--her tongue lolls crazily as she bounds and leaps after the squirrels no matter how high they are in the tree branches. She appears to be just as satisfied lunging 30 feet above her as jetting after one less than three feet away.

What I noticed on this morning’s walk as well as on other walks, is that the dogs appear somewhat selective about the squirrels they chase. I am still not completely sure what makes then decide which ones to take off after, but my initial hypothesis is that they tend to simply observe the ones that sit quietly on the branches or fences. Sometimes they take a playful half-hearted veer in the direction of the quiet squirrel but for the most part both dogs tend to ignore the meek ones and continue on their business of sniffing the ground. What really sets them off in hot pursuit are the tail-bobbing, frisky squirrels who chatter and throw taunting chirps down from their perch on high. Who knows what these chattering squirrels are saying, perhaps criticizing Suki's big, black nose or Zeebo's funny, crooked ears. Whatever the content, both dogs respond with leaps, yelps and barks and stop only when the enemy has taken refuge in higher branches. Rather than ignoring the taunts, both dogs acknowledge the interaction and respond in the best way they know--"sic'em."

Watching the dog/squirrel dynamics made me think about how we, humans that is, try to ignore our "inner squirrel." I am referring to the critical, taunting voice that holds us back from personal development and experiencing healthy relationships. In my work as a therapist, I am aware the power negative self-talk can have in preventing people from experiencing their best life and most fulfilling relationships with others. Each and everyone one of us (therapists included) at different times struggle to keep the inner critical voice at bay. An area of focus of therapy is often helping my clients acknowledge and understand their negative inner voice and how giving in to the destructive message, sabotages their personal and professional success. Self-discovery serves to free one from the old inhibitions and allows one to make conscious choices in order to achieve new goals and dreams.

What kind of voices am I referring to? Like the squirrel tossing down insults to Zeebo, perhaps your inner voice throws out comments to you such as "I'm not good enough...I don't deserve to succeed...It's all my fault...I'll never be loved." Often such negative beliefs found their voice in childhood and persist into adulthood. The inner critic affects self-esteem and feelings of self-worth, inhibiting success and accomplishment.

When the focus of therapy is to address the negative self-talk, I teach them the ABCDEs. I'll use one example throughout so you can get the idea. It's not the alphabet song, but goes like this:

A - Action or Antecedent. Let's say your boss was short with you and criticized your report.

B - Belief. If the critical voice is engaged, the thought or belief that might follow is the above action is: "My boss hates me. I'm no good at this job. I bet I will be fired."

C - Consequence. The consequence of the belief expressed above might result in you becoming sad, leaving work early, making a stop on the way home for a pint of Ben and Jerry's or something stronger.

D - Disputation. Here's the magic step: This is where you stop and dispute the above belief. Here is where you consider alternatives to your boss's comment. Perhaps she was having a bad day...perhaps she just was criticized by her boss, etc. This is the step in which you open your mind up to other alternatives and not immediately buy into the one offered up by your critical voice.

E - Energy. Once you dispute the automatic belief, you experience energy and freedom from the negative script.

Practicing these ABCDEs several times a day will help you to confront and silence the judgmental and negative, chattering "squirrel" in your own head, experiencing freedom in order to move forward toward achieving your dreams.

Thought for the Day: Become conscious of your inner thoughts this week and implement that ABCDEs to address and change your automatic thoughts.

"We allow ourselves to be ruled and controlled by our thoughts and emotions, and furthermore we allow our thoughts and emotions to be determined by our negative impulses and other afflictions of the mind. If we continue to allow this situation to occur, it can only lead to misery and suffering. Whatever brings disaster or harm should be called an enemy, so this means that the ultimate enemy is actually within ourselves."
--The Fourteenth Dalai Lama