Attitude of Appreciation

For those of you who read my blog, you know that my Great Danes, Zeebo and Suki, are two of my best teachers about life, patience and joy. Observing their recent interactions offered me fodder for today's entry. Last week I brought home two identical brontosaurus-sized rawhide bones, one for each dog so there would be no arguing. Zeebo, the male, quickly made his choice and trotted over to the fireplace, dropped to the ground to begin his contented chew. Suki, the female, grabbed the remaining bone and leapt to the rug in front of the couch to initiate her gnawing. After a few moments, Zeebo heard Suki's happy chewing, dropped his bone, and walked to her and began to whine and bark at her to convince her to drop her bone. After several minutes, Suki acquiesced and switched to the one he abandoned. With dog-glee, Zeebo triumphantly pounced on the newly-surrendered bone and gnawed for a few moments. As you might have guessed, it wasn't long before he heard Suki enjoying the other bone and wanted that one instead.

How often have you observed yourself engaged in a scene similar to the one played out by my dogs? Think about the last time you wanted something you didn't have until you got it, and then once you got it, you didn't want it any longer? So often we become caught up in our desires for something and focused on what we don't possess that we lose sight of what we do have right now in the here and now. Wayne Dyer writes in his book "Wisdom of the Ages" about how many of us suffer from a malady of not being fully immersed in the present, yet the present is the only place we can fully immerse ourselves. We spend our present moments, the here and now of life, consumed with longing to be someplace else, or worried about the future or focused solely on what we don't currently possess in our lives. He refers to this state as an "attitude of depreciation" rather than appreciation. So how do we cure this malady? By living in a state of appreciation and gratitude.

So how does one make the shift from depreciation to appreciation? It means being conscious and making a clear choice to appreciate what you are doing now, who you are with now, what surrounds you now. To do this, you shift from a place of depreciation (i.e., thinking you are with a boring person, wishing you were anywhere but surrounded by your noisy children, becoming angry in a traffic jam), to one of conscious attention. Appreciate what is here rather than what is not here and depreciate nothing. Open your eyes and awareness by being grateful and appreciative for what surrounds you. Each situation provides you an opportunity for experience--the traffic jam may provide you with a few moments of deep breathing or enjoying the sun filtering through the trees. Last week I was stuck alongside an access road waiting to get on the freeway to drive home from Austin. I had been in a seminar all week and I was ready to get home to my family. The traffic was moving less than 5 mph and I could see that it was going to take me a while to gain access to the on ramp a mile ahead. I began to calculate how much later my arrival home would be if the traffic didn't pick up. As I felt my shoulders tense in disappointment and stress, I consciously took several deep breaths and shifted my attention to the grassy slope running parallel to my car. A hose was running and about 15 black grackles frolicked in the pooling water; drinking, splashing and bathing. Instead of becoming angry with the situation, I appreciated the opportunity to watch a group of birds, up close and personal, engage in play. By the time I merged onto the freeway, I was smiling at the birds' antics, my muscle tension erased in the process.

When we are frustrated, scared, worried, angry or upset our heart rhythms become uneven and irregular, our breathing becomes shallow and when we are upset is often difficult to think clearly. In contrast, when we feel secure and safe or experience feelings of love and appreciation, our heart rhythms are smooth and even. When we feel calm, we are able to think clearly and make better decisions.
The Institute of HeartMath® , a nonprofit 501(c)(3), is a recognized global leader in researching the critical link among emotions, heart-brain communication and cognitive function. Their findings have shown that when we consciously shift into a positive emotional state, the heart triggers a response in the brain, creating a cascade of neural, hormonal and biochemical events that actually reverse the effects of stress and benefit the mind and body. The effect is immediate and long-lasting. As the folks at HeartMath write "By learning how to self-generate heartfelt feelings of love, care, and appreciation you will not only feel a lot better, you will also be able to think more clearly and become more fulfilled and self-confident in what you do and in your relationships with all others." So next time you find yourself entrenched in depreciation, shift your thinking and experience better heart health.

Thought for the Day: Notice when you are wishing you were somewhere else and bring yourself back to a state of appreciation for where you are. Discard thoughts of depreciation. When you find yourself depreciating someone or something--stop, and see if you can substitute a thought of appreciation. Take time to meditate or deep breathe. Meditation allows us to become aware of our thoughts. Permit them to pass, then return to the present moment. Try out these steps this month and experience a positive shift in your thinking plus the added benefit of improved heart health.

"He is blessed over all mortals who loses no moment of the passing life in remembering the past." -- Henry David Thoreau