Play That Funky Music

I smile a sleepy smile as I write today's post because yesterday I spent 12 hours with my teenage daughter boogeying and grooving to the awesome sounds at Austin City Limits. What a blast! My daughter received two tickets from a friend who was not interested in attending the last day of the three-day musicfest and my daughter invited me to accompany her. Okay...the invitation was likely extended because she does not yet possess a driver's license and she knew she would not be allowed to go to the concert unaccompanied. But still, I consider it a great honor that she would ask me, her mom, to go along for the fun. And fun it was! How often does a parent of a teenager get to spend twelve hours just hanging out--watching her groove and grin unabashedly, allowing the music to move her? Add to that the opportunity to grin and groove alongside her without her shooting me the exasperated "Mo-om, you're embarrassing me" look? As the American Express advertisement crows: "Priceless!"

On the 60 minute drive to Austin, I was given a crash course on the bands we would be enjoying over the course of the day and evening--some were familiar to me: Kathleen Edwards, KT Tunstall, and one of my faves, Tom Petty. Most of the 40 bands performing on Sunday were my daughter's groups: Matt Costa, G. Love and Special Sauce, Ben Harper, Matisyahu, The Stills, Sam Roberts, and Damien Marley, among others. I learned such facts as where the bands originated from, which singers were "hot," who recently released a new CD and whether said CD was worth purchasing. By the time we arrived at the festival, I even knew a few key lyrics in order to sing along if the opportunity presented itself.

So what does this have to do with life coaching? I interpret the experience as an opportunity to allow myself to be instructed by my daughter in what she enjoys, values and appreciates. Yesterday I took the backseat and allowed her to be my guide--I took in the sights and sounds of the festival from her perspective. In doing so, my ears were exposed to new sounds, and my heart and eyes were exposed to the current interests of the young woman who was once my baby. I was blessed by the opportunity to be a part of an event that was significant to her.

As parents we cart our kids around with us, exposing them to the things (sporting events, concerts, and vacation destinations) we enjoy. One of my goals as a mom who loves good music, has been to expose my daughter to some of the greats of rock and roll: She's seen among others: Dylan, Petty, Paul Simon, The Allman Brothers, various members of the Dead, Bonnie Rait, Bruce, and CS and N. In contrast, it is a none-too-common event when we allow our children to teach us something about their lives and interests. Most parents, most of the time, are in lecture mode: imparting advice and opinion onto their children. This weekend's experience was her moment to educate me on the current beats playing in her generation's ears and observe the cultural messages and mores influencing their minds. It was a pleasure to hear her impart her knowledge to me about each band we saw--her energy was evervescent and catching. I caught a glimpse of her toddler-ghost--the energetic and bubbly little girl who couldn't wait to show me the picture she drew that day in preschool. Yesterday my daughter was empowered by my openness to allow her to be the expert. My actions and behavior reinforced the message that I value her: her ideas, thoughts, interests and opinions. My hope is that this experience will add another layer in our relationship's foundation to help us weather the pending teen and young adult years.

On the drive home in the rain, she babbled about the concert until she fell asleep, exhausted and content. With a smile on my lips, I replayed the day's events in my mind's eye--the laughter and smiles we shared, swaying and dancing to the music. As I fell asleep last night, hoarse and tired from singing and dancing, my last thoughts were of my daughter; her smile beckoning, her eyes twinkling, spinning and twirling into the night.

Thought for the Day: Take some time out this week to allow yourself to be taught something by someone you love. Learn a new dance, a new song from a child--allow another to become the expert. Observe how it positively impacts your relationship!

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.
--Bob Dylan