Horsing Around

I write this new post while sitting gingerly at my computer. Several days ago I had a riding lesson on a new horse (to me) after not riding for a month due to a hectic schedule. My daughter accused me of loading up my schedule after Carin, my riding instructor, cheerfully informed me that at the next lesson I would be cantering (gulp!).

I have to admit that there may have been a teensy bit of extra schedule-loading going on over the following weeks, but as I mentioned in my first post, learning to ride serves two purposes. First, it is a way for me to make a new connection with my daughter and to engage with her in something that she is passionate about. Secondly, I am learning to ride to confront my ill-ease around horses and to learn how to appreciate them for the amazing animals that they are. Learning to ride forces me to move myself forward and step out of my safety zone. The way I look at it is, how can I encourage my clients to move outside their comfort zone and address a fear or conflict that has been holding them back from realizing their full potential, if I am unable to do the same in my own life?

So each Wednesday afternoon dressed in the requisite horsey gear, looking to the rest of the world like I am once again playing dress up or, hopefully, that I really know what I am doing, I drive toward the barn with a bit of fear, a greater bit of excitement about the upcoming lesson and an enormous amount of faith and hope that I will be back in the car at the end of the lesson in one piece.

This week I graduated from "Princess," a sweet 20 year old Bay who is the horse for the beginner 6 year olds and moms, to 12 year old "Honey," an equally sweet tempered Palomino, with a bit more kick in her step. It soothes my anxious heart and mind hearing the gentle names of my lesson horses. I silently thank whoever named them that they chose these names over "Killer" or "Rampage."

Once astride, I gently kicked and clucked at Honey to cue her to begin her trot and immediately felt like a preschooler's Weeble-Wobble toy sitting on top of her back. My heart lurched up into my throat as I bounced about on top of her. From my perspective I felt as though I were suddenly driving a 2005 Porsche as compared to a 1957 VW Bug and I just stepped on the gas pedal and couldn't get my foot off fast enough! Honey and I herky-jerked around the ring--trot, wobble, stop, trot, wobble, walk, stop. My mind leapt back in time to when I was a 17 year old Californian, learning to drive a stick shift in an empty Capwell's parking lot at dusk.

Everything I had learned about riding and position in the preceding weeks, emptied out of my mind and I felt I was starting all over in terms of gaining confidence and remembering to relax and just move in rhythm with the horse's trot. At the top of the lesson I was so tense, holding my breath, gripping the reins with my frozen fingers and lifting my heels into tiptoe position. I am sure Honey's thoughts were "Oh, boy...This is going to be a loooong lesson." It was only after half the lesson passed that I was able to rein in my anxious mind, breathe and just go with the flow of Honey's fluid movement. It was only then that I could trust and listen to Carin, my instructor. It was only then that I was able to relax and ride.

Isn't this similar to what we all do when we are trying to change a behavior or push ourselves to grow and stretch? Often we get so caught up in the action and the fear of doing something out of the ordinary that we lose track of the fact that if we just relax, breathe and move into it, we would experience much more success and enjoy the process so much more. When we are relaxed we are able to take in the cues from the environment and learn a new approach or change our behavior. Usually we have the ability all along--perhaps it needs strengthening or fine-tuning, but if we just relax and let it unfold naturally, we can surprise ourselves with our accomplishments!

By the end of the lesson, I was smiling as Honey responded to my clear cues. She and I experienced moments of true rhythm and flow. Her ears flicked back as I clucked at her to keep her trotting and she understood and followed my instruction--we were a team, in sync and confident, during the last minutes of that magical lesson.

At the end of the hour, as I untacked her and fed her crunchy treats, I whispered "thank you" into her fuzzy, fawn colored ear. She was my gift of the day (see first post) as she provided me with another lesson in trust and letting go. Days later, as I move around the house like the Tin-Man in search of an oil can, my sore muscles remind me of what we accomplished together and I smile.

Thought for the Day: What can you do this week to move out of your comfort zone? When you feel yourself tensing up during this process, take a few moments to breathe, relax your grip and go with the rhythm. You will be amazed at what happens when you do this!

There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a (wo)man.
--Winston Churchill