Monday, April 30, 2007



Avoid a May Day Mayday!

Tomorrow is the first day in the merry, merry month of May. I think of May as a slyly hectic month what with all of the special days occurring over the next 31 days: Mother's Day, Memorial Day, school coming to a close for the year which means helping one's children prepare for final exams or end of the year recitals, and perhaps attending a wedding or graduation or two! I always breathe a sigh of relief on June 1 because I have likely plowed through the busy month and emerged victorious on the other side! This entry is a summary of my monthly ezine (which you can subscribe to on my website) and offers you suggestions as to how to prepare for and manage the stressors you may experience as the month progresses.

"Mayday" is the internationally recognized voice radio signal for ships and people in serious trouble at sea and originates from the French word "m'aidez" meaning "help me." We all know what it feels like to be overwhelmed by demands, deadlines and obligations--the feeling can be likened to standing in a sinking boat with only a small pail in hand, helpless to match the rising water sloshing about one's knees. In such circumstances, the options are (1) go down with the sinking ship; (2) swim like mad to the nearest shore or (3) send flares into the sky and wave your arms above your head in frenzy to signal the need for rescue! The suggestions I offer you this month will hopefully keep you from having to make such dire decisions and instead allow you to remain watertight and floating high on the approaching stress-waves this month.
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Plot the Course
One of the most fundamental tools used in marine navigation is the nautical chart. Nautical charts provide a map of the sea bottom, water depths, currents, locations of danger (wrecks, sand, and rocks) and information about aids to navigation (buoys, beacons and other useful objects). The primary purpose of the chart is to give the navigator the needed information to decide how the boat should be maneuvered in order to safely reach the desired destination. No sailor worth his or her salt would consider sailing out into the seas without a navigational chart. In terms of your life this month, what do you need to map out in order to reach your desired goal? If the month ahead holds many deadlines and important dates, then what can you do today to plot your navigational course to ensure smooth sailing? Most importantly, what do you need to do to avoid the dangers lurking below the surface (eg, exhaustion, fatigue and overwhelm)?
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Find Your Latitude
The first step in mapping out your course is to identify your latitude and longitude in terms of where you are now compared to all that you wish to accomplish this month. Pull out your calendar and write in all of the events you plan to attend or host (i.e., Mother's Day brunch, weddings, graduation, school/dance recitals, Memorial Weekend BBQ, etc.). Next write down all of the deadlines; that is, identify the actual drop-dead date the project must be completed by. Be sure to record the mini-deadlines associated with the events listed above (i.e., shopping date to purchase your child's outfit for the end of the school year recital, purchasing the wedding gift, making reservations for the family pets for boarding, helping your child complete final projects, etc.) as well as the deadlines associated with your work life. Next go back over the calendar and write in all of the other appointments you have made for the month (make sure you include self-care time (e.g., exercise)). Now that your calendar is complete, you may be feeling a rising panic as you gaze over all that is to be accomplished in the next few weeks--but before you leap overboard, read on!
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All Hands On Deck
In sailing terms "all hands on deck" is something one says when everyone's help is needed, especially when there is a lot of work to complete in a short amount of time. Just as a fine sailing vessel needs a crew to keep her in tip-top shape, you, too, need a crew to help you navigate through the rough waters ahead in order to reach your destination.

Look back over your calendar for the month and begin to think about the crew members you can enlist to help you achieve your goals. If you are the captain, then who can serve as your first-mate? Break down the tasks and prioritize the order of what needs to be completed first. Which tasks can you delegate to a family member or enlist the aid of a friend or colleague? I realize that some folks have a difficult time giving up control and allowing another to help out. If you recognize yourself in the above sentence, then I invite you to imagine the support you will feel when you allow another to help you with a task. Can some tasks be eliminated completely? A friend recently lamented that no matter how much time she allots to prepare for a party, she continually finds herself finishing up last minute details as the first guest rings the doorbell. What I find is that when you give yourself a certain amount of time to finish a task, chances are you will find things to fill the time in order to not allow yourself the vacuum of peace or silence. It takes conscious effort o create and allow a cushion of "nothing" time.
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Steady As She Goes
Stress is the antithesis of calm and if you allow stress to take the helm, then you will find yourself awash and grounded among the rocks in no time. Remember the movie "The Perfect Storm"? The sea, wind and weather coalesced to create an impossible survival situation. The captain did not heed the warnings provided him by others, and instead moved forward and placed his life and the lives of the others in peril. In looking at your own month of events, rather than allowing your own perfect storm to develop, acknowledge that you will have to take proactive steps to maintain calm and peace through the upcoming weeks. Stress sets up several physiological reactions in the body ranging from compromised immune function, high blood pressure, migraine, irritability and skin breakouts, to name just a few. Researchers have found that activities such as meditation, acupuncture, therapy, massage, hypnosis and biofeedback all teach people how to utilize stress-reduction techniques which in turn helps them to maintain psychological and physical health in the face of stressors.

One useful technique to reduce stress involves "imaging," that is, conjuring up a soothing, mental picture and focusing on the image for 10-15 minutes a day (for example, walking along a peaceful stretch of warm sandy beach). Think about a scene you find soothing and relaxing. Imagine your scene in such detail that you hear birds or the breeze in the trees...you feel the temperature of the air upon your skin...you smell the scent in the air. I invite you to spend some time in the morning, before you start your day visiting your special scene. Spend 10-15 minutes in the morning, mid-day and before you fall asleep in a blissful state of focused concentration. When you actively teach your mind how to move into a state of calm, you are then in a proactive state in terms of how you manage stress in your life.
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Set Sail
Alright Captain, you have plotted your course, your crew is ready and you know the ropes. You are now ready to set sail toward your destination(s) this month. I wish you calm waters and smooth sailing--Godspeed!
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It's not far back to sanity
At least it's not for me
And when the wind is right you can sail away
And find serenity
The canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe me
--Christopher Cross "Sailing"

Sunday, April 22, 2007



Love Your Mother

Happy Earth Day all! My hope is that you spent today doing something kind for your mother earth and you were able to step outside and enjoy some fresh air and beautiful sights in your neighborhood environment. There is not much in terms of Earth Day celebrations here in San Antonio but I remember when I lived in CA I would attend the Earth Day Festival in the Bay Area each year. It was always an eclectic mix of new-agers, Native Americans, the birkenstock crowd as well as folks just interested in living a healthier and more green lifestyle. I always walked away from the event with lots of ideas, books, samples and a plant or two. We are so blessed to live on our planet and we tend to take her for granted. With the wide distribution of Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth" a while back, my hope is that more earth-dwellers are taking a closer look at what we all can do to help our planet heal for our own future as well as for the next generations. A goal of mine over the past several months has been to make small changes in my home in order to create a more ecofriendly environment. In this blog entry, I offer a few suggestions for you to implement in your own life that will make a significant impact:

Shed some light: By this I mean change out your incandescent bulbs for the energy saving Smart Bulbs. The stats are that each bulb changed will save 70-75% energy as compared to an incandescent bulb and last 10x longer.

Get good and clean: Next time you need to replenish your laundry soap or household cleaner, choose the earth-friendly variety. It may cost a bit more than your usual brand, but you will need less to do the same job and the ingredients are phosphate free and typically made of fruit enzymes.

Don't be idle: Instead idling in traffic while waiting for the train to pass or for your child to come out of school, take action and turn off your engine. Ten minutes per day less of engine idling will keep 550 lbs of carbon dioxide out of the air each year. For more info go to www.enginesoff.org.

Toss your paper: Recycle your newspaper and other paper products. Each stacked foot of recycled newspaper in the bin conserves a 40 foot tree! In your home switch over to recycled paper products such toilet paper, paper towels and napkins.

Look for deals the second time around: When it's time to buy a new outfit, why not go to your local consignment shop to check out their bargains? Not only will you save some green in your wallet, but you will be extending the life of a great outfit.

More easy to apply suggestions:

Check out what you can do in your very own neighborhood or town by going to www.earth911.org. Enter your zip code and check out how you can better your own community.

Watch the beautiful and moving series "Planet Earth" on the Discovery Channel for some additional inspiration for reasons to love our mother earth.

Check out Simran Sehti on her show "The Green" (go to www.sundancechannel.com/thegreen for listing) for some great ideas on how to live more green.

Don't forget to scroll down to the bottom of the page to click on this week's youtube video (it will play at the top of the page once you have clicked!) Please click on the second square--being a newbie at this stuff I was unable to edit the video clip to not include the first one!

Thought for the Day: What can you do today to create some change and improve your environment? For example, how about taking your own coffee cup to your favorite coffee shop this morning instead of getting the paper to-go cup which will only end up in the trash? Remember it just takes a few small changes to reap huge benefits when it comes to helping our planet.

Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect. ~Chief Seattle, 1855

Saturday, April 07, 2007



Everybody Needs A Hug--Even a Life Coach!
Recently I have been feeling a bit down in the dumps. It's been a series of weeks where I couldn't quite put a finger on a reason--just a string of feelings that didn't quite add up to an all-out cryfest, but instead a feeling of blah-malaise. Recently I made the connection that my down in the dumps feeling stems from the culmination of a bunch of things coming together like the wind and waves in the movie "The Perfect Storm." In my case the bottom line elements are aging: (1) watching my daughter zip through her freshman year in HS, racing ever closer to leaving the nest for college and (2) my own aging and sliding ever closer to the big M-word.

Lately I have been doing alot of reading about women's aging and health. I am one of those people who gathers up tidbits of information, reads volumes of books, and listens to lectures on topics that pique my interest. When I was pregnant I read books on pregnancy, child development, all the "What to Expect" books and actually tabbed (yes, tabbed!) a child development book for my daughter's first year so that I could quickly and easily find the information I needed when I needed it. So because of my innate curiosity about health and fitness, I found it interesting to observe in myself that up until recently, I avoided reading about the next life transition my body is moving into. I approached this next transition with my head in the sand--if I don't acknowledge it, menopause will just pass right by...kind of like that biblical story about the blood of the lamb over the doorframe.

Why is that, I wondered to myself? I concluded that I am experiencing a bit of body betrayal. As a younger woman I could choose whether I wanted to become a mother and time the birth of my daughter according to my life plan. Some women choose not to have children at all. Different from motherhood, menopause is not a choice--it happens to all women, some as early as 30 and others not until they are well into their 50s. This is the first time my body's timeframe is different from my own. Being on the shady-side of 40 and as I move closer to the big 5-0, no matter how youthful my mind feels, my body is fulfilling it's own preset timecourse. As an athlete, I have always been able to push through fatigue, pain or workouts that seemed to never end. Recently I have had a couple of days where I've struggled not to take a nap in the middle of the day!

This week I finally went to my doctor and shared with her all of my symptoms, questions, concerns and worries. Thank goodness for a listening, and supportive doc who made time to spend with me! Armed with new information and some meds to try out, I am feeling a bit more in charge of my life. Last night I spoke with my husband about my feelings and worries about getting older. He told me just what I needed to hear: he loves me and we will age together.

In my work with my clients, I invite them to take steps to move themselves into the driver's seat of their lives. Although I feel my body, and time in general, are still wrestling with control of the wheel, I now feel that I am making conscious decisions and choices about how I will manage this next life transition. Yes, it is the end of my life as a bearer of children, but it is also the beginning of a new life for me--and do I have great plans ahead! The best thing about talking with my husband last night on our usual Friday night date, was that I could see in his eyes that he is truly available for me and as a couple, we will navigate the road ahead. His warm hug of assurance and love made me feel better than when I was 20-something!

Thought for the Day: Are you taking care of your health and paying attention to your body's aging? What can you do this week that will encourage health for yourself now and for your future?

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age. ~Victor Hugo

Note: I have made some changes to my site including adding a video link at the bottom of this page. Please hit it and then scroll back up to the top of the page to watch the cool video. Enjoy and give a free hug to someone today; it will make you feel better and bring a smile to another.